How to last longer in bed – Tips, Tricks and Treatments for Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation InfographicHey guys, if you’re not lasting as long as you would like in bed, it could be only be due to 2 reasons:

1. You cannot get hard. Or you can get hard but it gets soft very quickly. Maybe even before you can penetrate your partner. Or you can get hard but its not as hard as you would like it to be. This is called Erectile Dysfunction.

2. You have absolutely no problems getting hard but you ejaculate much sooner than you would like to. This is called Premature Ejaculation.

Of course, these 2 issues are not mutually exclusive. You could be suffering from both at the same time. Also, one problem can lead to the other.

It is not surprising that this can lead to a lot of distress not only for you but also for your partner.

In this article, we are going to talk about certain things you can do to help with Premature Ejaculation. We will discuss Erectile Dysfunction in a separate article.

Do you have Premature Ejaculation?

Previously everyone thought it was all about duration. Doctors used to say if you could not last more than 1 minute you had Premature Ejaculation.

These days, we know that that is no longer true. A man is said to suffer from Premature Ejaculation if he feels that he has no control over when he ejaculates and it causes distress to him and/or his partner.

This can be a very serious matter. There are men who ejaculate so easily that when a person bumps them on a crowded subway train, they ejaculate. This can lead to a lot of misunderstanding even involving the police.

Of course not everyone has it so bad. But if you feel that you have no control over when you ejaculate and it’s causing you or your partner some distress, you have Premature Ejaculation and really should do something about it.


Premature Ejaculation affects your partners too.

 

Premature Ejaculation Treatment without Pills

There are a few things you can try. Not all of them have good scientific evidence and not all methods work for everyone. But they are mostly free and harmless so it is really no harm giving them a try.

1. Positions and Techniques

So called ‘passive positions’ can help delay ejaculation. The most common position talked about is ‘woman-on-top’. There are actually studies to show that this delays ejaculation.

For active positions, you can try entering your partner while standing up and she is lying on her back. Make sure your penis is angled slightly downwards. This way, the top of your penis is rubbing against her pubic bone. This can be uncomfortable but it is the discomfort that helps delay ejaculation.

Also, try taking shorter thrusts. This minimizes the surface area of the penile shaft that is stimulated. You may think this makes it less enjoyable for your partner but you will be mistaken. Women have most nerve endings on their labia majora and minora so they can still get good sensations even with short thrusts. For MSM practicing anal sex, usually it is the stimulation of the prostate that is enjoyable. The Prostate gland is only 2 inches or less deep from the anal verge. So shorter thrusts can also stimulate the Prostate gland.

Of course there is the very well known ‘Start-Stop’ Technique. This is very self explanatory. When you are about to ejaculate, stop and do something else that does not involve penile stimulation. Once you  are back in control, start again. Repeat as necessary.

2. Condoms

Duh. Condoms reduce the stimulation of the penis. Use thick condoms, the thicker the better. Good options are Okamoto Goku Atsu and Durex Extra Srength.

Make sure you put on the condom early. If you have been stimulated excessively already, even putting on the condom can cause you to ejaculate.

Numbing creams also work better with condoms. Basically you apply the cream first then put on the condom. On the one hand, the cream is absorbed quicker and better leading to better effects. On the other hand, the cream does not go onto your partner and numb him/her too.

3. Squeezes and Presses

The most famous squeeze is obviously the Masters and Johnson Squeeze Technique. This can only be done properly by your partner. It is best to get a sex therapist to show you how. As a quick intro, your partner places his/her thumb on your penis frenulum and the index finger on the other side and squeeze. If done correctly, you should lose 10% to 30% of your erection. Which also means you will not ejaculate.

Another common technique is to press hard on the perineum. Don’t know where the perineum is? It is the area between the base of your scrotum and your anus. Under this area is your prostate gland.

4. Distraction

This is the most obvious I guess. You basically think of something else during intercourse. In medical school my lecturer used to say ‘Think of Margaret Tatcher naked on a cold day” (No offense to Dame Margaret Tatcher). Other things I have heard: Think of baseball. Think of Jeopardy.

5. Pelvic Floor Excercises

This is rather new. An Italian study found that men who did regular Pelvic Floor Exercises for 12 weeks improved from 32 seconds to 2 minutes and 26 seconds!

How do Men perform Pelvic Floor Exercises?

First Identify the Muscles.

Sit upright, relaxed with your knees slightly apart. Tighten your anus like you are preventing a fart. You should feel your muscles tighten and a ‘dipping’ sensation at the base of your scrotum. You can also try to stop and restart the urine flow when passing urine. You should feel the same muscles tighten.

Now that you know which Muscles to Exercise, you can start the training.

Sit upright, relaxed with your knees slightly apart. Now imagine pulling your anus and urethra into your body and SQUEEZE! You should feel the same muscles you have identified earlier working. Hold for 10 seconds then release. Rest for 10 seconds then squeeze again for 10 seconds. Work up to 12 sets if you can. Remember it is Quality not Quantity that counts. In other words, 3 hard squeezes is better than 6 half-hearted squeezes.

To end off, do 5 to 10 short and strong contractions. These are your sprints!

Set aside 10 minutes a day for these exercises. You should see results after 3 months of daily exercises.

Medicines to treat Premature Ejaculation

Most men have a mental barrier to taking medicines to treat Premature Ejaculation. This really should not be the case. The medicines available these days are effective and safe. And honestly, if you could pop a pill to make you feel better about yourself and improve the relationship between you and your partner that is not such a  bad thing right?

1. Creams and Gels

Topical anesthetic creams and gels numb the penis and can delay ejaculation. The problem is they can be messy, breaks the spontaneity of the moment and numb your partner to an extent that sex is no longer enjoyable. A way to get over some of these issues is to get your partner to apply the cream for you then cover it with a condom.

2. Tablets

There is currently only 1 medicine that is officially used to treat Premature Ejaculation. However, doctors also use other medicines like medicine to treat Erectile Dysfunction usually in conjunction with tablets to treat Premature Ejaculation. Recent studies have shown that taking both these medicines together is extremely effective and safe in treating Premature Ejaculation even if you do not have Erectile Dysfunction.

Certain pain and anti-depressant medicines have also been used to treat Premature Ejaculation.

Most tablets are taken only when necessary. Some treatments require you to take tablets everyday for it to be effective even if you do not intend to have intercourse.


Control in bed!

Feel free to visit Our Clinics to talk to Our Doctors to learn more about treatments for Premature Ejaculation.

advise


Need more advice?

To find out more about Penile Rash or other Men’s Health issues , please visit your doctor or visit Men’s Health Clinic.

Dr. Tan and Partners @Novena (Men’s Health Clinic)

Address:

10 Sinaran Drive,
#08-31, Novena Medical Centre
Singapore 307506

Telephone:
+65 6397 2095

Learn more about Andrology and Infection Centre at Novena Medical Center services.


Our Other Clinic:

1.) Robertson Walk  (+65 6238 7810)

2.) Bencoolen Street (+65 6884 4119)

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6.) Katong – East Coast Road (+65 6635 2551)

Where to find us – here

Click Here for Contact Details, Address and Opening Times.

Selected clinics are open on Saturday and Sunday.

Need a Male Doctor? Doctor’s Schedule here

Email: doctor@drtanandpartners.com

Please email your queries, feedback and suggestions on what other topics you want to see in the comments section below.


Other Topics:

  1. Penile Discharge (Should I be Worried?)
  2. Frenulum Breve and Penile Frenulectomy
  3. Warts
  4. Molluscum
  5. HIV Symptoms
  6. Syphilis
  7. Herpes
  8. STDs General Info
  9. Premature Ejaculation
  10. Erectile Dysfunction
  11. Erectile Dysfunction Treatment – Electro-shock-wave-treatment
  12. STD General Info
  13. Gonorrhoea
  14. STD Treatment Services
  15. Cost of HIV/STD Tests at our Clinic

About Dr. Tan
Dr. Tan graduated from the National University of Singapore in 2001. His residency was in the two largest public hospitals in Singapore; Tan Tock Seng Hospital and Singapore General Hospital.

Find the profiles of our panel of doctors.

43 Comments

  1. Doctor ,

    I got PE ,but I don’t want to use cream and pill, got any surgery can be done ?
    Any suggestion ?

  2. Hi,

    i need some advice. I masturbate a lot and is always almost in a rush to ejaculate. I think i have premature ejaculation now. What can i do to help myself?

  3. There are natural methods to boost sexual performance

    • It really depends on what you mean by “sexual performance”. As a general rule, remaining physically fit, being well rested, not smoking and having a healthy diet rich in fruits and vegetables will help.

  4. Mr Kofi

    Please doctor,
    I want to know if premature Ejaculation has care or is it something that will last forever?

    Mr Kofi.

    • Premature ejaculation is not a disease, therefore we do not “cure” it per se. However, there are some underlying medical problems that may contribute to this problem.
      There are a few methods and medications that can help with premature ejaculation. You are welcomed to visit our clinics to consult our doctors.

  5. Edmund

    Hi Doc,

    How much is the cost of consultations and treatment for PE?

    • drtan

      Consultation $64.20 (includes GST). Treatment costs depends on what is needed eg tests, medicines etc. The most commonly prescribed medicine is Priligy which costs $64.20 (includes GST) for a box of 3 tablets i.e. each tablet costs $21.40.

  6. Hi Doctor ,

    I am in mid 40’s. I have 2 concern.

    1) My penis size is small and can I increase the length and grid.

    2) Normally I can last only for less than 5 mins for making love. Recently I have problems of penis not getting hard when change of position.

    Can I know what is the problem and any solution for no 1 & 2

    • Dr Justin Sim

      1) Penis size can vary between men but the key is to remember that the average size is between 5-6 inches when fully erect. A truly small penis is considered as less than 4cm when flaccid and less than 3 inches when fully erect. If you fall into the group which truly has a small penis then the only real option is to go for surgery with a specialist. The pumps and pills found on the internet do not work.

      2) If you are finding it difficult to last more than a few minutes then you may benefit from a medicine designed to help premature ejaculation which you can take before intercourse. The same goes for erectile dysfunction. It would be best to discuss this with us in person (or your own doctor) and a plan can be made for you.

  7. Dance dance

    Hey there Doctor, where are the places that I can go to, to buy the numbing creams or tablets??? And do I just walk in there and just asked for it???

  8. how is the jelq exercise, does it works? is there any solution center in Malaysia for PE thanks

    • I do not know of any reliable scientific data that proves the Jelq Exercise works. We do not have any branches in Malaysia.

  9. Hi doctor,
    I have problems in sex,early ejaculation when having sex. Any solution for this. Thanks

    • Of course. You can try all the methods described in the article written above. Or you can see us for a prescription for medicines to delay ejaculation. Click here for more info on medicines used to treat premature ejaculation.

  10. stop illegal sex

    So, PE is not a disease. so is it a curse? Many people take medicine after leave medicine problem comes with more stronger. Now so many like me r afraid to listen to u bcoz of ur bypass answer.

    • When I say PE is not a disease I mean it does not affect your organ systems, does not kill you, does not cripple you etc. I did not say it is not a problem. If it is not a problem why would doctors like myself dedicate so much time and effort educating and treating patients? Why would I even bother to write this article? PE is definitely a problem. It affects the patient and his partner emotionally and psychologically. There are treatments for it as described in the article above. Both medical and non-medical. To read more about the medicines to treat PE click here.

  11. stop illegal sex

    Thanks for reply. PE is not a disease. But many peoples are suffering for that.

  12. stop illegal sex

    dear dr.
    I m very pleased by ur quick reply. now most of the days i have morning erection. but i have pe problem. 30 sec i can last no more. by ur suggestive medicine is it possible to cure forever or the medicine i wll have to take throughout my life. Some medicine make problem more rather than curing. I hope ur confident advice. thanks in advance.

    • The medicine for PE provides a temporary relief of symptoms. There is no cure for PE. PE is not a disease.

  13. i have problem of premature ejaculation and want to try the medicines.please what the right time to take this drug. before sex or when?

    • The tablet should be taken about 2 to 3 hours before planned sexual activity. Please ask your dispensing doctor for more advice on how to take the medicine.

  14. Hi Drtan, I am having the same problem : PE. I had consulted quite a few specialist , and tried up the tablet as well. This medicine works very well for the very first box i had taken . But slowly down the road, the effect on me is getting thinner and thinner till like my condition had already overwhelm the medicine effect . Do my condition consider very worst ?

    • PE is very common. There could be a few reasons why the D is having a lesser effect on you. You may need to increase the dose, change medicine or add another medicine to it. See your doctor for more advice. You are also welcome to come see us.

  15. Hi doctor I have this Problem quick ejacuulation I can last up to 1mis so what drugs can I take to cure it. And how mins a man suppose to last to ejaculate

  16. Hi Doctor,

    I think I have premature ejaculation
    Problem. I would like try D. How much will it cost?
    Thanks

  17. what medication can stop 1 mins ejaculation to enable stay longer.

  18. Hi there, I feel that I have premature ejaculation. When I started to learn how to masturbate, I think I took quite a long time to ejaculate when I stroked it. As years go by (probably because I do not want to be caught), it took a shorter time to ejaculate. Once I remember, I was just “stimulating it”, making it hard before I start to stroke it, but before I could stroke more, it ejaculated. What should I do?

    • You have just described an extremely common cause of pre-mature ejaculation. Masturbating and trying to ejaculate quickly in your youth has conditioned your body to want to ejaculate quickly. But you will notice this happens only with direct penile stimulation. You can try numbing creams or a medicine.

      • doctor d is medication ib staying longer.

        • It depends on what you mean by “stay longer”. D is to treat premature ejaculation not erectile dysfunction. So it is to delay when you ejaculate. If what you mean is you cannot keep your erection, that is a different problem.

          • Steve

            I just depends that can’t “stay longer”. D and ejaculate and cannot keep my erection different problem too. And my size can you help please? What your location so I can see you in person or I can call you. Send me your email. Please D help me.

          • drtan

            You are welcome to visit me at my clinic at Novena Medical Center. Click HERE for address and contact info.

  19. Hi doc tan,

    I’m married for 7years, i’m 32 this year old male, over the years i had problem maintaining erection to last longer. Whenever i wan to enter my wife it only lasted 1-2min than i eject out. I try to use the start stop method also no use. My wife also ask me to seek help. Really feeling lost.

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